Hmm…… life is presently too demanding to work on new
materials to write about, so like a virgin to unprocessed steak sauce, here’s a brief
glimpse into my past life.
Life Event #1= Attack of the Hair Plants
I remember in my last year of high school, whenever I left
my third period class, I would always find myself behind this random freshman
student, while walking down the first floor hallway. He wasn’t in my friend circle,
nor in any of my classes, yet would I always remember him due to his one famous
feature. His amazing growing afro, AKA (AGA). At the start of the year his
hairstyle was quite small, and didn’t even qualify for afro status. And yet,
ever day after, I soon took notice of his hair slowly growing before me. I felt
I had my very own personal chia pet, as I’ve never had a real one before, and I
would sometimes find myself wanting to touch it, even going so far as wanting
to water it, just to be sure what I saw was real and keep It growing.
Near the end of graduation, I would see this afro grow to
the magnificent Triple X size that any 70’s aficionado would be proud to
witness in real life.
Overall Rating: A Pleasant sightseeing year, yet my sane
brain self-told me to stop this petty obsession.
Life Event #2= Critical Hit of the Lactation Giver
While my mother’s sister was still breastfeeding her
daughter, she did a horrible trick on me. I was watching TV, when I hear from
behind me “Hey Mikey!” and I spun my head around only to caught a glance of her
squeezing her right tit, as a sudden milky spray gushed out, right into my
eyes. The 2nd worst moment of my life, involving milk, with mistakenly drinking
chunky old milk taking 1st. I still recall her cackling laugh as I struggled to
wipe away the white substance away from my bludgeon eyes.
Overall Rating= A haunting involvement with a sickening jokester,
that lead to my hatefulness of white milk. (As opposed to any other color of milk?)
Life Event #3= Disseized Patches of the Spheroid Membrane
When I first got chickenpox, at the tender young age of 7
and below, I ended up scratching the underside of my balls so much from the
bumps, that there is now a huge patch of skin missing, leaving behind a colorized
difference.
Overall Rating= Hard
to describe, as you really have to move it around to see the full patch
missing, but it’s a welcome surprise for any future girlfriend(s) to discover.
Life Event #4= Soothing Voices of the Life Hackers
My older brother is a genius, ever since the good old days,
and long before let’s plays were easy to record; we had to improvise to do our own.
So all you need is :
1.
N64
2.
Karaoke Machine
3.
Microphone
4.
Cd’s with music
5.
VCR player
6.
Recordable VCR Tape
7.
Etc. Wires
A transcript of my older brother telling how he did it.
“So the vcr was hooked up to the TV, with the Yellow video
jack from the Nintendo 64 hooked to the VCR so we could see the game. Then the
red and white jacks from the karaoke machine were hooked up to the VCR so we could
record dialog with the mics and play background music with cds.”
Overall Rating= Awesome to witness everyday items combined
to create 90’s Lets Plays.
Life Event #5= My Avoidant of Grasped Affection
In my third year of high school, I encountered my first ever
crush from a girl. Now I’ve swoon over dozens of women in my school days, but
this was the first where the girl actually had the crush on me. She was quite lovely,
with long dark hair with an outdoors loving tan, and to be quite honest I was
too shocked to realize all the signs before it were too late. She would always
want to pair up for class projects, and other common tropes crushes do. But
atlas I didn’t think much of it, as I didn’t think no one would actually try to
make the moves on me.
Another factor as to why I didn’t pay much attention to the gestures
was the fact I was moving away to a new school within the first month of that
year, so I didn’t want to get too attached to anyone, and I didn’t bother to
tell anyone else about the move, besides a few teachers whose classes I was
failing on purpose. Why didn’t I tell anyone? Well throughout my life I’ve
moved around too many times to even get a real sense of friendship, mainly due
to mother’s inability to pay the bills, and figure it’d be easier to move
around than pay. So the few remaining friends I do own are a real testament of
my care for them, even if I don’t contact them as often as I should.
At any rate, near the end of the last month at that school,
she bought me a gift, an expensive Abercrombie & Fitch shirt, and that’s
when everything clicked in my head of the moves she did over the past month. No
girl in their right minds would go out of their ways to gift such a high priced
item to another student. With the gift
in hand, I soon became hesitant and gave the gift back, and ran off, in total nervousness.
Shortly
thereafter I had moved away, without telling her my own feelings about her. The
ride away was spent just thinking about the missed opportunity’s I could have
had.
Just to let you know, I didn’t have a cell phone during this
time, so I couldn’t exchange numbers with her, and even now thinking about it,
ever since I left that school within the first month, I have no plausible clue
as how to reach her, seeing as getting a yearbook would be null imposable. (As well as my horrible brain’s inability to remember
anyone’s name.) But then again, she probably gotten another love interest, and I
wouldn’t want to interrupt her current lifestyle.
Overall Rating=
Slight resentment of my former stupid self, but nonetheless a reminder
to be more watchful of others feelings towards me, even if I don’t acknowledge
said emotions.
(Sidenote on Love Life:)
Now how I experience my first kiss/French kiss with a
different girl is another story all together, which is too long to tell here (as
well as a slighted embarrassment as to whom it was), But I’ll say one thing
about it, It happened while we were watching puppet master 4. Yeah, I don’t get
how the romantic antics of killer puppets can be a turn on either.
