I’m Cubby! Ok

 

My state of health hasn’t always been a balance of good proportions; rather I would see it akin to a clump of melted vanilla pudding, with rice, that rolls around in its self. Even though I don’t eat that much to gain any more noticeable weight, I still live my life to the laziest possible. However, this isn’t to say I don’t gorge myself to extreme measures to maintain a stable body shape.

 

At a young age I often refused to eat and was often borderline bone skinny. To this day even I haven’t the faintest clue as to why I did this to myself. Then after getting several shots in the ass by a disgruntled doctor, my hunger moods changed to a lustful craving that brought me back to plump. Then more so than ever, as my body engulfed its former self and amalgamated into chubbiness.

 

Now the reason as to why I’ve taken the lazy lifestyle was that during my childhood I would walk everywhere, to school, stores and even empty parking lots for no reason. All this walking would take my weaken legs and turn them into ham hocks of strength. Nowadays I tend to sit as often as possible, with work as the exception; I rather stand the full time I’M THERE then to take a break due to sitting so much. My legs are still integrated with my young endurance of walking, so that I don’t feel as much complaints that fatter guys will stand.

Off topic, but I was never fond of candy and sweat foods as much as others do. While I do have a stash of skittles and sour patches in my room, it takes months for me to finish each one due to eating one individual piece a day or not even at all. I mainly consume them in order to somewhat replenish my absent of sodas I use to partake.  Due to this, I tend to wake up vastly earlier than normal, typically around six a.m., without caffeine or coffee. (never liked the taste of it, except in fake candy format)

 

I’m a picky eater, always has been and don’t care what any thinks. (I only prefer warm food over cold, which indicates it’s at least got most of the bad bacteria off.) But by stating that, that indicates I do care and that makes me a liar. And if I’m a liar, then I’m in rights to make a sequel to Liar Liar, with Emilio Estevez as my lackey sidekick. Afterwards we get fired for failure to bring in the money and roam the streets in a 1964 Chevy Malibu car.

 

 

I take it the only repo man film you saw had Jude Law in it?

 

 

At any rate, we better get back to the main issue. I’m overweight by some pounds, but have the flexibleness and standard restraints an actual “fat” person lacks. Such as being able to kick my own face standing up, or sitting Indian style on chairs. (As well as twisting either of my legs backwards, but that in its self wouldn’t necessary be a girl hitter. Girl Hitter? What the hell do you call it? Girl Magnets? No. That word that appeals to get one another? Girl Getter? What, No. Those thing male flamingos do to attract other female flamingos?

 

 

 

Watch Pink Flamingos!

 

 HELL NO. Oh wait, Attract! That’s it!)

 

Why am I attacking fat people? I’m not, just wanted to let you know that yes, I can still see it standing up.